When The Blossom Petals Fall
by Obviously 0ptomistic
Summary: Rin's POV. Somewhat of Diary Entries of Rin's after she has been able to serve the powerful Lord Sesshomaru. Mostly just Diary Entries. [Incomplete.]
1. Chapter 1

Quick Summary. : (Rin's POV) Somewhat of Diary Entries of Rin's after she has been able to serve the powerful Lord Sesshomaru. Mostly just Diary Entries. R&R Please read notes inside!

Other stuff : Baka - Stupid / Nani - What / Ohayo - Morning / Nii-san - Big Brother/ Gomen - Sorry/ Hai - Yes / Demo - But / Ota-san - Father/ Youkai - Demon/ Hanyou - Half Demon

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, pathetic? I know

Alright, you know the deal:

_Blah _ - thinking

Talking- talking

My self - Me talking

Special Bulletins : Hello, here I am with another one of my dizzy stories, I know many of you have been looking foreword to my other story 'You'd never guess' but, all my chapters for that have been deleted, and the plot has been getting exciting too! I swear, that I will update on a few chapters, but, until my computer is fixed, I just want to write this in the cyber cafe. But I bet you'll like this story 'When The Blossom Petals Fall' much better. I was inspired by this idea just the other day, and it is from Rin's POV (Point of View) I love reviews about the story, but, please don't right anything too horrid. But, please, give me what you think, not into many harsh words though. I love all reviews, and the more I get, the earlier I update!

Entry One : My Winter Heart Melts

The white, wonderful, dizzy, exciting, horrid, huge, and beautiful winter, was whisked away as fast I could of seen it come. I couldn't believe that my fall diary was already being burned in the fire, right outside my window. It is somewhat of a habit of mine, to burn these journals, after all the pages or the whole season has been fulfilled. Today is the first of winter, the starting of my new journal, the new season, and of course, the start of my new winter paying. Oh? I forgot to really introduce myself. My name is Rin, I have no last name, because I have no idea who my parents are, or were. All I know, is that I am nothing but a 'low-life mortal' as Master Jaken calls me. Master Jaken, isn't really my Master, if anything, he is more of a servant himself. In the end, we are all servants to Lord Sesshomaru, but, I am just a cabinet maid, in charge of fulfilling the duties of maids who slack off. But, what I find most horribly displeasing about this job, is that most things happen at night, and I will be woken in the middle of the night, just if Master Jaken saw that a speck of dirt was on the window. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't brought up here.

When I was nothing but the age of seven, I found myself here, being taught and disciplined under the strict rule of Master Jaken. At first, I hated everything here. I hated working late at night with Master Jaken yelling at me. I hated cleaning the high windows which took me as long as from sun up to sun down. I hated having nothing to do but wait till Master Jaken called me to do some ridiculous job. But, what I hated most of all was that, for all the jobs I had to do for Lord Sesshomaru, I never once got to see him face to face. But now, I am just glad to have a small warm room, a nice hot meal, and a nice full hour to sleep, at least. Though, now, since I am the age of sixteen, I feel more allowed to do what I wish, considering Master Jaken and Lord Sesshomaru are almost always away on business. It troubles me though, to think I was just upon this door step nine years ago, begging for a scrap of food, or something, and now, I could sleep easy.

The day I came here, I can remember that someone tall, and with large, bright, entrancing amber eyes, allowed me inside. I knew it was a man, as a fact. He had given me clothes, and for the first week I was here, I was allowed to stay in the study. When I had asked the man if he was the Lord, he said 'Lord Sesshomaru...that is what you call him...' I still can't remember what he meant, but, after that week, it slipped away and I never saw or heard that man again. I always did shiver when I thought about his outline, as if he was so close, but, I hadn't any idea. It was confusing, and it still is. I don't know how to explain everything that goes on here, and if I said the whole story today, the pages would be filled, and I would have to write on my sheets, which would get Master Jaken to give me a good scolding.

Today, a lot of maids were fired and re-hired, I was one of the lucky ones, who was allowed to stay, I was even promoted. I am now in charge of tending to Lord Sesshomaru's needs, although, he hasn't once called me today. I suppose that is because he is not even here, he is out, across the country, 'checking' on his brother, as Master Jaken has told me. Though, I must say, Master Jaken, is somewhat, a large worshiper of Lord Sesshomaru. Even though, today, the first snow is falling, I still feel as if the ground is tainted with the agony of the mortals how have died here. I gulp, thinking about this. I didn't believe it, but, Master Jaken had told me, when I was nine, that every mortal or demon who disgraced Lord Sesshomaru would die, without a last word. Now, I think it was just a trick to get me behaved.

Oh my. Master Jaken is calling me, I am afraid I must go!

**: Later :**

Hello again! I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long! I have been shocked for the last hour, but, as soon as I came to my senses, I raced to you to write. Lord Sesshomaru has returned, and I have gotten to see him, in person! He is as hansom as the other maids say, who have seen him. He has a creamy colored complexion, and these entrancing dark glistening golden-amber eyes. He also has these long shinning strands of silver hair, which shine off the dimmest light! I was baffled what Master Jaken told me that in the morning I was going to be able to attend a meeting with Lord Sesshomaru. Even as I write, I am blushing till no return. As much as I thought about it, Lord Sesshomaru was very, very, _hansom_. I can't help but congratulate his mother on raising him, but, to talk about her, is somewhat of a sin.

It is late, and for once, I am willing to sleep in, even if I have a big duty by noon tomorrow! I shall take a bath and talk to Master Jaken on what I shall do about clothing, then I shall go to sleep. I am rather tired! Goodnight!

**:Morning:**

Ah! _Ohayo_! How are you this morning? I do hope you faired well last night! In the early morning light of today, I was able to accompany Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken, to a demon's mansion, just a few towns away! I was very excited, so much, that I as sure I was going to explode with bubbles, once we had gotten on the large demon, which smelt so horrid, we had flown half way across the country side! It had been the first time I had been able to look down at all the scenery in such a long time! As I was smiling so happily, Lord Sesshomaru explained a few things to me. And all the while, while he was talking, I could barley even look at him without saying something foolish. But, I had made him, smirk, and a give a small chuckle. I was happy at that, but once again, Master Jaken interrupted.

"Foolish child!" he had said, "Don't you dare try and be friendly with Lord Sesshomaru!" he even whacked me on the head with his 'staff of two-heads'

All I could think of to say was, "I'm sorry, Master Jaken."

"Jaken. Shut it. She has somewhat more authority then you." Lord Sesshomaru had actually addressed me, as well as Master Jaken!

I was so happy, that I nearly fell of the dragon, but, swiftly, Lord Sesshomaru had saved me! He is so dashing, I was sure I would of melted if he ever grabbed my hand again! But, moving on, in any event. When we had landed, we were at a large palace-like structure, were many humans were scattering around, but, for some reason they all stopped, looked at me, then separated into large groups, all somewhat talking about me. I paid no heed to them, though, it was very rude to gossip, especially in the state of Lord Sesshomaru. I would of scolded each and every one of them, but I didn't want them to riot, or for Lord Sesshomaru to think I had a rich tongue. Suddenly, after the humans had began work again, a human male busted from the large doors, I was told to stay behind Lord Sesshomaru, I obeyed immediately.

"Ah...you have come...Sesshomaru!" the man had said, I frowned, it was _Lord Sesshomaru_, how rude to address him as a friend!

"Tsuki...I am not here for your petty talks, I am here for what I require." was Lord Sesshomaru's response.

"Yes. Yes." the man named 'Tsuki' said, and rushed back into the house.

When he had returned, he handed Lord Sesshomaru something in a wooden box, it was covered with strange writing and different designs. Suddenly, Tsuki had grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the palace place. I was struggling and wailing with all my might, before Lord Sesshomaru cut Tsuki away from me. His dark glare had borrowed its way inside of Tsuki as I knew he had regretted doing, whatever it was that he was or trying to do. He then explained, that he thought I was a maid of his and that I was troubling Lord Sesshomaru! How rude! Lord Sesshomaru explained that I was his personal servant, which made Master Jaken, as well as I, nearly faint! Tsuki looked at Sesshomaru then at me, and then he has a most vile question.

"Are you barring his children then? You poor thing."

In a flash, Master Jaken had jumped up and covered my eyes, and in all the confusion, I could hear Tsuki's cry of pain throughout every way. I was scared, but Master Jaken whispered and told me 'He was being rude, so is being punished'. As soon as the cries had stopped, Lord Sesshomaru quickly turned me around and carried me foreword, as if saying to me 'Don't look back' I didn't bother anyway. I knew Tsuki was dead, considering Lord Sesshomaru's kimono was covered in spots of blood, by I dare not ask. We got on the demon and rode back here. I just got back a few moments ago! And that has what happened today! I am still flustered that I am Lord Sesshomaru's 'personal servant' but that is alright! I feel honored just being able to see his face or anything!

Also, I feel rather, intimidated by Lord Sesshomaru's presence, he is quite dashing, so dashing, in fact, that I feel as if I could melt under his presence, just alone. I wonder how Lord Sesshomaru had even gained this land in the first place. But, I am glad no one can read you, at least, I hope not! It is time for lunch! Master Jaken has prepared me to cook a bit of lunch for Lord Sesshomaru and I! I am very excited! I must get ready so I shall see you later! I do hope I don't destroy the kitchen with my cooking! But, I'm sure Lord Sesshomaru will forgive me if I do, I can tell he is a very nice person, even if he doesn't show it all the time! Until later on then!

_Rin_

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Ahahaha! My first Chappie done! How'd you like it? R&R its the right thing to do!


	2. Chapter 2

Quick Summary. : (Rin's POV) Somewhat of Diary Entries of Rin's after she has been able to serve the powerful Lord Sesshomaru. Mostly just Diary Entries. R&R Please read notes inside!

Other stuff : Baka - Stupid / Nani - What / Ohayo - Morning / Nii-san - Big Brother/ Gomen - Sorry/ Hai - Yes / Demo - But / Ota-san - Father/ Youkai - Demon/ Hanyou - Half Demon

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, pathetic? I know

Alright, you know the deal:

_Blah _ - thinking

Talking- talking

My self - Me talking

Special Bulletins : A special thanks to all who reviewed! **HoshiiNoTenshi - **Yeah, I thought that question was gonna be funny! Haha! Glad you like her personality! So do I! lol **simplyelena **- yah, my spelling check has been off and my 'd' botton isnt working too well, so I have to hit it like seven times for it to work! Pretty pathetic, but yeah, no one is good at spelling, well, not that I know off! lol Glad you liked the story, in any event! **Odi et amo **- yeah, I cant spell that good! Haha! Glad you think its spiffy! I need to use that word more often! lol** SugarN'SpiceRin **- I'm seriously glad you love it! You've never read one like this? Well glad mine was your first! Please keep R&R everyone! Oh and btw, I will throw in a few Japanese words here and there.

Entry Two : Seeing Though Golden Eyes

The once beautiful and platinum colored stove, was now a dark blazing red and black color. It produced an awful smell of burning, and as a result, I was to make a large and formal apology to Lord Sesshomaru. Honestly, I didn't mean to almost destroy the stove, but, I should of warned both Master Jaken and Lord Sesshomaru that I hadn't a clue on how to cook. Though, I think Master Jaken was much more furious with me. As I sit writing to you, I am somewhat confined until Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken find a way to repair the stove, it looks as if we won't be eating too well until then, either. I feel utterly ashamed with myself. The most handsome men of who might of considering to marry or propose to me, now find me a laughing matter. It is not funny, not in the least. The maids are all talking about it, as well. But, I honestly, didn't mean any harm, but I feel useless. I cant even distribute a proper lunch to Lord Sesshomaru, now my lunch is nothing but rice cakes.

Lord Sesshomaru had not reprimanded me as much as Master Jaken did, but, they both had said the same thing, 'When the snow falls outside it is very difficult to find stoves.' Though, I have decided to sneak out just after sunset to go and find one. I have a great deal of money that I am suppose to spend for my new room, across the hall from Lord Sesshomaru's, but, making this up to him, is a bit more important then clothing or maybe a wonderful new hair clip or that new set of colorful ties, I've had my eye on since last month. But, to think of such selfish things at this time is more unbecoming of me, but, I cant help it. Though, I have to perfect myself in many ways to please Lord Sesshomaru, perhaps if I try to attend to watch the maids cook more often, but, I already cause trouble..for everyone.

Even if I do sneak out this evening, it will be very difficult for me, considering so many things scare me, I haven't been outside walking around on my own since I first came here, just thinking about it, makes me shiver. I decide to leave soon, maybe I could get away from this place, I feel, somewhat like a locked bird, inside's it cage, only allowed out, once its Master or Owner lets it. I have decided, I'm going to try and get away from this place, maybe, I can start life a new somewhere. Though, I don't know where that sudden thought has come from, but, I'm so scared, could I really survive on my own? And what about men and children, if I have a husband, and have children, will he leave me and the pain of birthing, I just don't know what to do. I wish the answers came to me, instead of me trying to find them.

Oh my! Please excuse me! Lord Sesshomaru's calling me!

**: Evening :**

Hello again, my little book. I cant believe what has happened now. I had spent most of the afternoon in Lord Sesshomaru's study, helping him prepare things. He said it was 'payment' for his stove! I don't even have to go buy one, he has found a better one and replaced it! When I sat in the study, just about an hour ago, Lord Sesshomaru and I had a very nice conversation. No Master Jaken in sight. We sat on the balcony, watching the snow fall, I was blushing throughout are whole conversation. It was like heaven had shined its light on me if only for that hour that we had talked, I felt as if I was bless for a life time. Wouldn't it be wonderful? If I could just sit and watch or sit and talk to Lord Sesshomaru all day? I find my feelings for him puzzling, but, I don't _love_ him, not yet at least. But this is what our conversation was like :

_"Rin, are you don't with all the organizing?"_

_"Yes, My Lord."_

_"And Jaken..?"_

_"Attending to the younger maids as you have asked me to tell him to do so, Lord."_

_"Very well, now, I have a question for you to answer."_

_"Yes? Lord Sesshomaru?"_

_"Do you want to leave this place?"_

_"Leave?"_

_"As in, spreading your wings to fly, you may if you wish to."_

_"N-No! I could never allow myself to leave your side Lord Sesshomaru!"_

_"Optimistic..."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Nothing. Be off with you now."_

_"Yes...My Lord.."_

He had asked me if I wanted to leave, and I could of honestly said 'yes' and never once look back here, but, something has drawn me to those amber-golden eyes of his. The ones that shimmer, but, its almost like I can see right though them. I wonder, does Lord Sesshomaru ever get lonely, locking himself up in his study sometimes? I wonder if he wants to marry or have children, I wonder, what its like to be him. Of course, I cant exactly picture myself in that situation, but, maybe, just maybe, if he'll open up to me more...but that, is a truly foolish thought. To think a mortal such as me, could be blessed with Lord Sesshomaru's love, I would truly die the day that happens, but, I need to know something, and I do believe Lord Sesshomaru is the one who can give me the answer.

_Am I just a low-life mortal?_

Am I really just that? A low-life mortal, with no stamina or anything? I-I want to know everything, about myself, about this mansion, its history, I want to know more about Lord Sesshomaru. I fear that I love him, but, if I were to say or tell anyone, it wouldn't be helped. He would, he would shun me away till time its self was ending. Is it so wrong to love a demon? Is it so wrong if a demon loved a human? What am I saying! Lord Sesshomaru, he's too good for me, and I fear, that the old saying of 'love at first sight' may be capturing me in its spell and forcing my heart to open. I don't want that, I don't want anything to do with him. I want, I just want, to fly away on open wings. To be able to soar high into the sky! To be able to scream till my lungs shrivel, to be able, to do what I want.

Those golden eyes, the ones so hollow, so thin, so...so...mysterious. They are going to haunt me forever. I just know it, and even know, when I write and think this, I cry. The streaming crystal tears of a pathetic mortal fall on this paper. The denial of feelings, and the flowing stream of hatred, not for anyone, but herself. Is life always this cruel? How...how can it be this way? I am not suppose to fall in love, with anyone, especially not a demon. I am suppose to be hated, to be served to others, to be tainted as the town's property. That is what everyone says, young or old, we, all women, will get saturated, so, what right do I have? What right do I have to be in love? It would be selfish and uncanny to do so, not to mention utterly humiliating, but I cant deny it.

_I am in love with Lord Sesshomaru._

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A little short, but packed with emotions. R&R its the right thing to do!


	3. Chapter 3

Quick Summary. : (Rin's POV) Somewhat of Diary Entries of Rin's after she has been able to serve the powerful Lord Sesshomaru. Mostly just Diary Entries. R&R Please read notes inside!

Other stuff : Baka - Stupid / Nani - What / Ohayo - Morning / Nii-san - Big Brother/ Gomen - Sorry/ Hai - Yes / Demo - But / Ota-san - Father/ Youkai - Demon/ Hanyou - Half Demon

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, pathetic? I know

Alright, you know the deal:

_Blah _ - thinking

Talking- talking

My self - Me talking

Special Bulletins : Pro-Kagura Chappie! Rated M, for special reasons ; Especially in this Chappie! A special thanks to all who reviewed! Especially these people : Sorry, I have bad grammar and spelling lol ; Keep reviewing please!

**HoshiiNoTenshi **

**simplyelena**

**Odi et amo **

**SugarN'SpiceRin **

Sorry For the late update! I have been having some r/l problems, so I couldn't type very much!

Entry Three : A Glass Heart

It had been about half a day since I confessed my feelings to myself, and, I've been weeping every second. Especially, when I look in this mirror, the one showing the clearest reflection, and what do I see? A pathetic girl, who has fallen in love with a demon she's only known for a short amount of time. I cant stand to look at her. She's foolish, perhaps, even insane. What kind of woman falls in love with a demon? Even though, Lord Sesshomaru has done nothing to hurt me, mentally nor physically, I feel as if...as if...I am a _whore_. That's right, someone who uses charms to posses everything...because...to think I can have this forbidden feeling, its a crime. Besides, I overheard Master Jaken speaking to Lord Sesshomaru earlier, about a girl. I had token a walk to clear my mind and when I stumble close to the garden, I heard it all.

_Kagura_. She is suppose to be a high ranking woman from the north, with her brother, Naraku, in command of the whole entire north. This supposed, _marriage_ that I heard about, is suppose to help us gain lands. Though, Lord Sesshomaru wishes not to, he doesn't have a choice. I feel as if I should tell Lord Sesshomaru now, my feelings that is. If I tell him now, would he deny the marriage to Kagura? I hope, I wish, I pray that he does. It is nearly morning, I have been up all night. Walking, weeping, and sighing, all of this I did. But, it does not matter anymore, what I think. I forget sometimes, that I am nothing but a servant here, I get no special treatment. What right do I have to honestly fall in love with Lord Sesshomaru? But...should I really keep my locked heart hidden deep? I don't know what to do anymore.

_I have to tell him..._

Oh...a knock on my door...I wonder who it is...

**: Noon :**

Hello, once again. Lord Sesshomaru was at my door earlier, and I couldn't even look him straight in the eye. He told me that we would be attending a small meeting with someone, my previous Lord, the one I had before I came here. I am troubled, I cant remember him or her, and for that reason I am scared. When Lord Sesshomaru saw my troubled face he told me I had nothing to worry about. My heart lifted, then sunk, I had plenty to worry about. I had forbidden feelings locked away, a owner to meet, a arranged marriage I have to destroy, but no, nothing to worry about, huh? I don't know what to do anymore, but, I shall get dressed right away, I am troubled, but, I shall be okay. Lord Sesshomaru will be there, and I know, no matter if he has feelings or not, he'll help me...I just know it..

**: Evening :**

_Konbanwa_, or good evening my dear treasure. I have most dreadful news, Kagura will be coming here to stay for quite a while! She has already arrived and is in her room, talking with Lord Sesshomaru. Not only do I have to pursue the destruction of this marriage, but I also have to go see my previous Lord tomorrow morning. Lord Sesshomaru has told me to be very behaved on both occasions, but, that Kagura is anything _but_ something behaved. She is a most horrible woman, with eyes of piercing red devil's which I can hear the screech of, every time she looks at me. Not in such a friendly way either, it is a hard, devastating glare, which send chills up and down my spine. She has fingernails that are so long, that if she even slashed someone, it would leave a horrible gash. They were painted as the color of midnight, but, with red spots, I only hope it was paint, and not blood of someone else. She isnt even honestly, that good looking, in fact I could see Lord Sesshomaru cringe ever so slightly at her appearance. She as insisted on me calling her _Lady Taiyoukai_, I hate it ever so much. Taiyoukai is Lord Sesshomaru's last name, and she dare use his name as if she is already married to him! It makes the blood inside me boil.

She has this white and black fan which she carries around everywhere. Even when I was asked to show her to her quarters, she kept it above her mouth or down at her sides. I am beginning to think she will strike me with either her nails or her fan if I do something horrid. I am glad she will not come to my room any time soon, that reminds me. Earlier, before Kagura or Lady Taiyoukai came, I was able to get a bigger room down the hall, in the wing of where Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken sleep. It is a large room, and has a perfect sized window, in which I can see the moon and the small garden with the pond, perfectly. The bed is most comfortable too, and I even have a tea table! Many wonderful paintings are around the room, and a small bookcase full of a few books of my interest from the study sit across the room, next to the large desk I have. There is a lock on the door, which I am also thankful for. Master Jaken tells me it is the most wonderful room a servant has ever been able to stay in, though, I will be staying in here a lot. I am afraid I wont be able to walk around freely with Kagura afoot.

Naraku, Kagura's brother has also come, and he gives me this ever so scary smirk every chance he gets. It isnt a scary smirk of 'hmm-your-just-so-alone' more of a smirk of 'your-quite-interesting' it scares me just as much as Kagura's fingernails. When we where eating supper, I sat next to Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken. Though, every time I looked up to either side of me, I always spotted Naraku smirking at me, and licking his lips. I have my eyes wide open every time I am near Naraku, I am scared he might attack me and force himself on me. I wish...I wish I could tell Lord Sesshomaru, but I know, he will most likely believe whatever it is Naraku tells him over me. I'm terribly frightened, and I shall not leave this room without someone I know and trust guiding me. Should I tell Lord Sesshomaru what is happening? I think I should, but, right now, I am more concerned about what I am to do, with everything. I don't want to do anything, believe it or not, I just want to be left alone...for now and forever...

**: Early Morning/Dawn :**

This has been the first time I have cried myself to sleep, and I do hope it shall be the last. My eyes are a bit red, but, it will pass in time, but, I don't feel at all better from yesterday. My heart, in fact, feels as if it has been shattered….as if someone has stricken it and it broke and flew high, so high and far, that I would never be able to see it again. But, I have little time to write, because I shall be going to see my previous Lord soon, the sun is just rising and I can see the Jasmine and Cherry Blossom plants and trees growing. It is a lovely sight to watch every morning, and since I will be locked up in here for a while, I decide to cherish this time, and the time I have with Lord Sesshomaru. _Lord Sesshomaru_...even the sound of his name makes me heart swell, but, in a sad way. I can't believe I allowed this to happen to me, I must be a disgrace, I am getting so emotional over it. But, if anyone were ever to read this, I do hope that...they never feel the pain I suffer...

Time is passing by so quickly. I'm sorry...I must go get ready, before more tears drop...farewell...for a little while..

**: Midnight :**

I have returned, and might I must say today has been the worst day ever to exist! I wish everyone in this entire house was gone! I want to be alone! I can't take it any longer. I'm...I'm going crazy...its too overwhelming...make the pain stop...but, I suppose you are wondering why I feel this way? But...at least he cares a little. But, I am still upset! Well, I'm sure you would too, after this tale is told... :

_It was so close to breakfast when Lord Sesshomaru, Master Jaken, and I were leaving to Lord's house. I was dressed in a spring kimono, the one that I wear on special occasions, Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken were also dressed in kimono's. I hadn't said a thing to either one of them, and I knew they were begging to tense, well, Master Jaken was. On the ride there, it was completely silent, an awkward silence, but I dare not open my mouth. I was much too busy glancing outside along the road, anyhow. It was a beautiful day, and on days like this, I was sometimes allowed to sneak away and play outside with a few younger maids, but today, my mood certainly did not match the weather. And I would of much rather stay inside and write or stare out the window, instead of coming to this awful place._

_The mansion we came to was huge, so huge I thought it was twice as big as our own. Although, I knew that was nearly impossible, out mansion was the largest in all of the western lands. When we stepped out of the carriage we were riding in, I spotted a young man, no more then the age of around nineteen, who was standing at the front gate. He had midnight black hair, which flowed out of a braided ponytail, and, he looked, rather happy, to see me. When we approached him, he had tan, very tan skin, as if he had been out in the sun too long, he looked, as if he hadn't aged in forever. Suddenly, a small pain hit me in my heart and I felt the need to wince. Lord Sesshomaru glanced at me and I immediately overcame it, I cant let him think I am week for feeling a small pain, it was probably nothing in any event._

_When we were invited inside the castle, my stomach felt completely hollow, as if I hadn't eaten anything in ages. I also, felt the need to cry my eyes out looking around the hallways. There were small spots of red everywhere but Lord only told us it was a new idea for decoration he came up with, I didn't believe it one bit. There were also, only a few servants, they looked worn out and thin, not to mention a few of them were bruised on their faces or their arms. I did my best to not yell at him for not taking care of them. When we passed by **his** bedroom, I felt, sick. I wobbled gently and next thing I knew, I was gasping for air up against the hallway walls. Lord Sesshomaru looked at me, and tried to calm me down, but, out of nowhere, all I can remember is me falling to the ground. Nothing but black, but I do know...I had a dream.._

**: Dream/Flashback :**

_There was a small girl, no more then perhaps the age of six, no, maybe seven. She had a most non-optimistic appearance on her face, and she limped down the hallway. Suddenly, a man, that looked, just like Lord had appeared! He looked the same as he did now, and the small girl let out a cry of pain as she was thrown against the wall. She curled into a little wall, mumbling and sobbing. Lord picked her up and opened the door to his room. He shut the door and many servants stopped to look. The girl let out cries of 'Please Lord! Stop!' but, then, I saw the little girl inside, he was...he was lying on top of her, licking her...stomach...she was bleeding right below, and she cried so much, so much, that it hurt me. She shook her head as he smirked and licked from her nose going down...and down.._

_"No! Please! Lord! No!" she cried, he stopped and looked up._

_"Do not worry. I wont make it so bad. Your good in bed. Just relax and let us play. Your a very **tasty** woman. Very tasty indeed." he said, licked his lips._

_"Please!" she tried to shove him away._

_"Now, now. Calm down, or I'll make it hurt even worse! Your my little girl, aren't you? **Rin**?" he said, then, it all went black...again.._

_**: End :**_

_I remember...when I woke up...Lord Sesshomaru was sitting across the room leaning against the wall. I felt ashamed to be in his presence. I felt dirty, angry, confused, scared, lonely, I just felt...so hollow though...when I thought about it. Perhaps...perhaps it was all just a dream, not a memory, but, as I sat up, I had seen and felt something. **Guilt**. I felt so guilty that I let that crime, even in my dreams, go on. It was horrible and I wanted to scream and run as far away as I could. To just try and find something to wrap myself in so tight that the pain would not seep out and that no more pain would seep in. I had been crying, both in my dream and while I slept. Lord sat across from Lord Sesshomaru and once I saw him I let out a low, angry growl, which I didn't know would attract such attention, from both him and Lord Sesshomaru._

_"Now...Rin..." Lord said with a horrid smirk, "A bad memory perhaps, of something from a previous or new owner?"_

_I gritted my teeth and stood, all anger surging though me, I couldn't take it any longer. My life had been fine, no, it had been wonderful. Then out of nowhere this woman comes and this other man comes and now this...this...this rapist heart-less monster dares to speak to me as if it were nothing more then a small nightmare that a child may have. No, I didn't deserve this. Then was when I somewhat snapped. I stood up and walked over to Lord and slapped him a good bit across the face. Lord, Lord Sesshomaru, and even I was shocked at this action. Lord stood up and was close to hitting me in return, but, Lord Sesshomaru stopped him, and he was thrown against the wall. It was time to leave..._

_On the ride back, I wept quietly to myself. Tears of anger. Tears of sorrow. Tears of every emotion that anyone has ever even thought of. All except for happiness or emotions relating to that. Though, when we had stopped to make a short trip, Lord Sesshomaru sat next to me, he told me it was alright, that I wouldn't have to go back, not ever. He wouldn't allow such behavior on my half again, but, he said that man deserved each and every pain he has gotten. Lord Sesshomaru told me, no, promised me, that I would be safe. When he said that, I couldn't help myself, not one bit. I had broken down and cried clinging to him. He only tensed slightly, but, no movement. He let me weep, like the pitiful human I am. But, he promised me, it was going to be okay. It will be alright. Somehow I know it will. Because...I think Lord Sesshomaru...cares for me...even if it is just something he has to do. It makes me smile...I feel so happy, so thrilled to know, someone doesn't want me to get hurt. And I cried some more, but when I was done. I was glad...just to be hanging to his arm..._

Muhahahaha, I'm going to end it there. Hope you like it. I know, I cant spell, do anything right with checking, but, the story is good though, right? whimpers lol R&R because I wub you 2


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